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DOCDRS
04-02-2012, 10:50 PM
I was driving my my youngest daughters friends home from her birthday party yesterday when a cat ran out from between 2 cars. With no time to do my usual avoidance manoeuvre I ended up fatally nicking the little devil. The girls we pretty occupied in the van so I thought I got away with it. Till my daughter asked if I had hit the cat? I said No but it wasn't quite convincing enough and her and her friends stated begging me to go back and see if the "kitty" was alright. After they told me it could be some poor little girls pet I reluctantly agreed. I circle around to the location to find an elderly Italian lady with the cat in her arms. (not moving :( ). I get out at my daughters request and approach the lady explaining what had happened. She was crying and muttering in illegible Italian to me. I explained how I had no time to avoid her cat but she just got louder. I pulled out my wallet but only had $20 in it and felt that may be an insult so I went back to the van and got my cheque book. I told her I was sorry and hoped she could get a take care of things and maybe get a new cat and wrote a cheque for $300. It calmed her a little but by now a police officer came by and he gave me another $300 ticket. Man when it rains it pours. Well at least my daughter had a good birthday party. :)

newty
04-02-2012, 11:07 PM
Ok Doc... Everybody now, what was the ticket for? Lol.

Sent from my Droid IPhone killer

jpetty3023
04-02-2012, 11:15 PM
Another April fools gag?

jmvotto
04-02-2012, 11:23 PM
Another April fools gag?

Thats what i assumed..

DOCDRS
04-02-2012, 11:56 PM
Discussing the price of a pussy

evoimport6
04-02-2012, 11:59 PM
I thought you were Talking about the NCAA tourney!

Grant M
04-03-2012, 12:01 AM
Discussing the price of a pussy

Ba dum bum...:)

sandm
04-03-2012, 07:35 AM
I was going to suggest that the cop give you a party, not a ticket for eliminating another one of those worthless piles of fur :)

chawk610
04-03-2012, 08:03 AM
Dang... got me again. All laughing aside, I once fatally flattened (2) kittens. They were sleeping under my car. :(

kaneboats
04-03-2012, 10:08 AM
I once got a baby rabbit with the lawnmower. We had a huge back yard and I hadn't mowed yet in the spring. They started coming out of a pinhole in the grass. There was no way to avoid it. I only clipped one of them and then about 7 more came out. Thank God my daughter didn't see that.

KSmith
04-03-2012, 12:08 PM
You know this isn't funny, it strikes a nerve.

There I was driving my buzzed arse home from the bar late one night when I pull up to an intersection and there is this cat trying to crawl out of the gutter. It's back legs weren't moving, it seems it had been hit by a passing car. I was about to proceed through the intersection when this beautiful gorgeous amazing goddess stops across the street and runs over to the cat. She is sobbing and so I pulled over to lend a hand. We got the little bugger cornered when a cop pulls up. He gets a blanket out of his car after we explain we are trying to capture the hurt cat. I toss the blanket over the cat and scoop it into my arms when it breaks free and tries to take my eyes out with it's claws. It misses my eyes but sinks it damn dirty claws into my face. I grab one paw and try an pull it out and the cop grabs the other. The damn cat then bite my hand between the thumb abd finger deep into the meat. The cop and I are trying to pull the freakin cat off my face and the curved claws are sunk in deep so my face if just getting pulled out like I was puffing out my cheeks. Finally we get the claws out of my face and it's jaws ried open off my hand and get it wrapped securely in the blanket. Off to the vet go the goddess, myself, and a freggin demon cat. It is way after hours but we get the vet out of bed and attending us. Cat is badly damaged, blood bubbles and frothing, not much hope but he will do what he can. Now I should mention I am very allergic to cats. So by now I am all swollen up bloody. The vet asks if I have a dog, yes I say it's name is Frtiz. He gives me a bottle of mega anti-boiotics for fritz wink wink nudge nudge to fight the infection from nast cat claws and spit. He gets our information and we leave. I look like I just did 15 rounds with Rocky and am not feeling well. I ask for the goddesses phone number, she gives it to me. I am overjoyed!! The next day I get a phone call from te vet. Cat died. My bill for a dead cat and antibiotics is 275.00. I call the goddess, she tells me she has a boyfriend. I am crushed and a dead friggn cat just cost me 275.00 and kicked my arse... I started smoking again that day.... sad but true... oh and as far as I know the cop never got his blanket back.. it was a bad night. I have a new philosophy on cats hit by cars... if they are still moving I'll backup and finish them off ;-)

rc5695
04-03-2012, 12:38 PM
Funny stuff...Had my on the April1 post until I got to the $300 ticket, and I"m like "no way". Lol.

Kraig, that's just nuts... Lol...

WaterBullDawg1980
04-03-2012, 02:19 PM
I once got a baby rabbit with the lawnmower. We had a huge back yard and I hadn't mowed yet in the spring. They started coming out of a pinhole in the grass. There was no way to avoid it. I only clipped one of them and then about 7 more came out. Thank God my daughter didn't see that.

LMBO! You have to be kidding me! That is hilarious but probably would be one of the more traumatic things a child could ever see. Can you imagine? "Mom! Daddy is running over baby rabbits with the lawn mower!!" All the while, you see fur and bits of little bitty bunny rabbit flying over the yard??

Wow.

DOCDRS
04-03-2012, 05:56 PM
I once got a baby rabbit with the lawnmower. We had a huge back yard and I hadn't mowed yet in the spring. They started coming out of a pinhole in the grass. There was no way to avoid it. I only clipped one of them and then about 7 more came out. Thank God my daughter didn't see that.

Same thing happened to my neighbour when he called me over to ask what I thought. A bunny had nested in his long grass and he had shot a couple of the little guys out his mower shoot. I picked it up and the little guy looked ok so we just put them back in the nest and he left that area till they moved out.