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Thread: Darn Cats
04-03-2012, 11:08 AM #11
You know this isn't funny, it strikes a nerve.
There I was driving my buzzed arse home from the bar late one night when I pull up to an intersection and there is this cat trying to crawl out of the gutter. It's back legs weren't moving, it seems it had been hit by a passing car. I was about to proceed through the intersection when this beautiful gorgeous amazing goddess stops across the street and runs over to the cat. She is sobbing and so I pulled over to lend a hand. We got the little bugger cornered when a cop pulls up. He gets a blanket out of his car after we explain we are trying to capture the hurt cat. I toss the blanket over the cat and scoop it into my arms when it breaks free and tries to take my eyes out with it's claws. It misses my eyes but sinks it damn dirty claws into my face. I grab one paw and try an pull it out and the cop grabs the other. The damn cat then bite my hand between the thumb abd finger deep into the meat. The cop and I are trying to pull the freakin cat off my face and the curved claws are sunk in deep so my face if just getting pulled out like I was puffing out my cheeks. Finally we get the claws out of my face and it's jaws ried open off my hand and get it wrapped securely in the blanket. Off to the vet go the goddess, myself, and a freggin demon cat. It is way after hours but we get the vet out of bed and attending us. Cat is badly damaged, blood bubbles and frothing, not much hope but he will do what he can. Now I should mention I am very allergic to cats. So by now I am all swollen up bloody. The vet asks if I have a dog, yes I say it's name is Frtiz. He gives me a bottle of mega anti-boiotics for fritz wink wink nudge nudge to fight the infection from nast cat claws and spit. He gets our information and we leave. I look like I just did 15 rounds with Rocky and am not feeling well. I ask for the goddesses phone number, she gives it to me. I am overjoyed!! The next day I get a phone call from te vet. Cat died. My bill for a dead cat and antibiotics is 275.00. I call the goddess, she tells me she has a boyfriend. I am crushed and a dead friggn cat just cost me 275.00 and kicked my arse... I started smoking again that day.... sad but true... oh and as far as I know the cop never got his blanket back.. it was a bad night. I have a new philosophy on cats hit by cars... if they are still moving I'll backup and finish them off
Last edited by KSmith; 04-03-2012 at 11:14 AM.Kraig - 2010 Outback V
04-03-2012, 11:38 AM #12
Funny stuff...Had my on the April1 post until I got to the $300 ticket, and I"m like "no way". Lol.
Kraig, that's just nuts... Lol...'00 Moomba Kamberra
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04-03-2012, 01:19 PM #13
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04-03-2012, 04:56 PM #14
99 Outback LS. Sold
run your engine after you change your oil
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