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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #131
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    Mar 2010
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    Arkansas
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    Default

    Chill out guys, I think it was a play on the election results. It's not always about you

    David, agree completely but the figure heads and talking points are all top drawer jokes of the day material. Save that discussion for the other thread.

    In an attempt to go back on track ...





    2006 Supra 24SSV

  2. #132
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    s.e. washington state
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    Default Pythagorus (sorta)

    There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept
    on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three
    became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who
    slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove
    that...

    the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws
    of the other two hides.
    1998 Mobius
    310 HP PCM

  3. #133
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    Jan 2003
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    Minnesota and Wisconsin
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    groan.....
    If you believe something to be true, it will be - in it's consequences.
    http://bensonwdby.home.comcast.net/

    1999 Mobius - DD - 5.7L Carb - Perfect Pass

  4. #134
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    Mar 2003
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    s.e. washington state
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    Default College Football

    College Football


    Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear.
    In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
    ___________________________________________

    Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
    So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
    ___________________________________________

    What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
    Drool.
    ___________________________________________

    How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. That's a sophomore course.
    ___________________________________________

    How did the Missouri football player die from drinking milk?
    The cow fell on him.
    ___________________________________________

    Two Oklahoma football players were walking in the woods.
    One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
    The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
    ___________________________________________

    A University of Texas football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
    He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
    Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
    ___________________________________________

    What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
    "Will the defendant please rise."
    ___________________________________________

    If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
    The police officer.
    ___________________________________________

    How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
    There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
    ___________________________________________

    What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
    A full set of teeth.
    ___________________________________________

    University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;
    The other half will have to dress themselves.
    ___________________________________________

    How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
    They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
    ___________________________________________

    Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
    He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
    ___________________________________________

    How do you get a former Kansas football player off your porch?
    Pay him for the pizza.
    ___________________________________________
    1998 Mobius
    310 HP PCM

  5. #135
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    Default

    My Mom said I'm not allowed to get wet!
    2008 LSV
    2000 Outback LS (sold)
    Exile Tunes
    PWI
    LLTR!!!!!!!!



  6. #136
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    It all makes sense now. Gay marriage & marijuana being legalized on the same day in Washington state.


    Leviticus 20:13- "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned."



    We were just interpreting it wrong.
    My Mom said I'm not allowed to get wet!
    2008 LSV
    2000 Outback LS (sold)
    Exile Tunes
    PWI
    LLTR!!!!!!!!



  7. #137
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Katy, TX
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kaneboats View Post
    It all makes sense now. Gay marriage & marijuana being legalized on the same day in Washington state.


    Leviticus 20:13- "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned."







    We were just interpreting it wrong.
    now that's funny right there! i dont care who you are
    David

    2008 Mobius LSV, Gravity III , Wake Plate, Z5, Exile SX65c's, Exile XM9s, Exile XI12D, Exile Harpoon, Exile SM600.1 , Exile Xi800.4.

  8. #138
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    Jun 2007
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    Vancouver, WA
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    Default

    With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends and family about drinking and driving.

    As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well two days ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.

    Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it
    Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway.

    2001 MobiusV

  9. #139
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Minnesota and Wisconsin
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    Well this is reality = not a joke - kind of scary - yet funny
    A Golden Eagle trying to fly off with a little kid.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE0Q904gtMI&sns=fb
    If you believe something to be true, it will be - in it's consequences.
    http://bensonwdby.home.comcast.net/

    1999 Mobius - DD - 5.7L Carb - Perfect Pass

  10. #140
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Vancouver, WA
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    Default Holiday Wishes...

    To All My Democratic Friends:

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.


    To My Republican Friends:

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in the year of our Lord Jesus Christ 2013.
    Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway.

    2001 MobiusV

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