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Thread: Joke of the Day
09-30-2011, 01:58 PM #712007 Mobius LSV
11-21-2011, 09:07 AM #72
"The World’s Shortest Psychiatric Joke"
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of
The psychiatrist says, ‘Well, I can clearly see your nuts.”
Hey, Its Moomba time
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11-21-2011, 10:46 AM #73
I think I know that guy.My Mom said I'm not allowed to get wet!
11-21-2011, 11:44 AM #74
An 80-year-old Texas rancher goes to the Mayo clinic in
Rochester for a check-up
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'
'I'm from Texas and in my spare time I like to fish says the old
guy, 'and that's why I'm In such good shape. I'm up well before
daylight riding herd and mending fences and when I'm not doing
that, I'm out fishing. In the evening, I have a beer and all is well.'
'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be
more to it. How old was your father when he died?'
'Who said my father's dead?'
The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your
father's still alive? How old is he?'
'He's 100 years old,' says the old Texan. 'In fact he worked with
and fished with me this morning. '
'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to
it than that. How about your father's father? How old was he when
'Who said my Grandpa's dead?'
Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your
grandfathers' still alive?'
'He's 118 years old,' says the man.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went
fishing with you this morning too?'
'No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why
would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?'
'Who said he wanted to?'1998 Mobius
310 HP PCM
11-23-2011, 10:38 AM #75
Christmas stuff yet?
The Easy Way:My Mom said I'm not allowed to get wet!
11-23-2011, 12:28 PM #76
Viking Fans Doing A Little Bragging..lol
They do have a point!1998 Mobius
310 HP PCM
12-06-2011, 09:01 PM #77
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling
back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you Sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging
out of his fly for all
the world to see.He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without
missing a beat
"Ah Hell!... My girlfriend's gone, too!!1998 Mobius
310 HP PCM
12-12-2011, 10:24 AM #78
Two old drunks
I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us.
I told my friend "That's us in 10 years".
He said "That's a mirror, dip-$hit!My Mom said I'm not allowed to get wet!
12-16-2011, 03:42 PM #79
On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his
cell phone rang... It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just
been in a accident and was in critical condition and in ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be
there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what
was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.
He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the
hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting
a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and
beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....
Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.
He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your
round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!"
"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the
country club your wife has been suffering in the ICU! It's just as
well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than
likely your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the
clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV's; you will
have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be
spoon fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."
The man broke down and sobbed.
The doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just joking with you. She's dead.....
What'd you shoot?"My Mom said I'm not allowed to get wet!
12-21-2011, 05:14 PM #80
>>>>>God Loves Drunk People Too
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloody pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..-Mark
02 Mobius LSV - GIII Ballast - Kicker 6500.2 Six Pack powered by 650.4 - Polk cabins, 10" L5 powered by Kicker 750.5 - Perfect Pass wakeboard pro
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